Hustle For Easy

Hey Party People,

I had an extra hour the morning I wrote this post, an hour I completely forgot I had! What a special realization that was because if I had remembered I would have planned something to do in that extra hour ahead of time. But instead here I am with words and feels flowing through me.

Today I want to talk about perfectionism and the hustle.

I picked up one of Brené Brown’s books this AM, Daring Greatly, and wasn’t feeling the chapter I left it on so I flipped back through the pages and landed on this exact topic – perfectionism. This is something I have ALWAYS struggled within all aspects of my life and up until recently I didn’t realize it was a belief around perfectionism, I felt it was me simply striving to do my best.

What I’ve learned though is that there is a difference between being perfect, and striving for your personal best. Being perfect is motivated by the external. We seek validation, approval, or assurance from others when we strive for perfection. When we push for our personal best this is internally motivated, where we desire the best version of ourselves. This difference is key because when we seek validation from outside ourselves we will constantly and continuously miss the mark. This leaves us in puddles of shame, underachievement, or unworthiness.

….

Brene has a term that I literally expressed out loud after reading it, “oh my god, that is so true!” Something clicked in my conscious brain. Hustle for Worthiness is the term or phrase she used. How many of us do this – hustle for worthiness? Truthfully, when you are out there working your butt off for someone else, spending endless hours at your computer as an entrepreneur, reading alllll of the business or personal development books, who are you hustling for? Are you self motivated or motivated by the fear of failure or shame? What factors are pushing you to hustle?

What if we flip this concept, hustle for worthiness, and instead hustle for easy. Why do we so rarely consider this option? We have it so ingrained in our hearts and minds that things have to be hard that we fail to even consider the idea that something could be easy. We all do this in different areas of life. Maybe it’s a job search, maybe its searching for love, or friendships, or that dream apartment/home you’ve always wanted. If we could start to believe things were allowed to be easy and believed in that possibility, don’t you think we would open up an entirely new area of belief, one where our biggest dreams might actually be possible, AND EASY? *GASP is that possible?!  

My coach constantly is telling me to “do less.” In an encouraging way, because you guys I am a freaking perfectionist and feel like I have to do all of the things! Let me take you back to a couple of years ago because this wasn’t always me… well at least to the extent I am now.

I’ve always had high expectations of myself but for a long time, I coasted through life doing the things I thought were expected of me. Do well in school, go to university, move out of the parent's basement, get a job, etc. There was very little intentional thought in my decisions, I just did them…because. Then sometime in 2018, a lightbulb went off in my head while watching Netflix. I said to myself, “wow… you watch Netflix almost every single night, are there not better things you could be doing with your time?” And this wasn’t some self-talk that was placing guilt or blame on myself for watching some mindless TV series, it was literally a realization that allowed me to see HOW MUCH TIME I ACTUALLY HAD. So late 2018 I started signing up and seeking things to get involved in and by the time 2019 started I was involved and working on what felt like every dang thing. I joined a Board, I joined a leadership program, I was taking online classes, I was working full time, trying to have a social life and seeking love. It was my year of Yes, I was going to do it all.

The problem that I realize now… is this became my norm, doing it all. It was a crazy year of involvement, of growth, and learning and I FREAKIN’ LOVED IT… at the time. But now as I explore other avenues and goals I realized that all those things I jumped into no longer serve me. At the time they were intentional choices to develop myself professionally, and it worked. But now I have programmed myself to believe I have to continue to do ALL of the things, ALL the time. Contrast this with COVID erasing my calendar in March/April this year (which was a blessing y’all). I went from doing it all to doing none of it and I also LOVED THAT. Now I’m completely out of balance. Trying to figure out where to put my time and what to stay or get involved in again, AND work on my new goals… there’s just not enough brain space to do all these things.

So…

I’m working on doing less.

I’m working on not being perfect.

I’m working on things that make me happy.

I’m working on taking the easy path.    

 

I want you to think about the concept, hustle for worthiness and how you might be acting this out in your own way. Then consider how different it might feel to hustle for easy. Can we reach for ease instead of questioning something if it does feel easy? We are so quick to believe the ongoing narrative that life is hard but why, why can’t it be easy? Do we have to resort to the belief that we have to hustle in order to be happy, or to get what we want? I don’t know, I struggle with these same beliefs that you do but what if, WHAT IF we believed there was an easy path, do you think it might appear? Every once in a while why don’t we take the path of least resistance and follow the yellow brick road all the way to our very own dreamland. Because if I were a betting woman, I bet that’s where the magic lives.  

 

To get you moving and grooving this week, here’s your party jam. It got me bouncing my booty during a couple workouts this week, so I had to share. The YouTube link has all the lyrics which are worth paying attention to 😉

          YouTube >>  Dance on The Table – CLiQ ft. Caitlyn Scarlett, Kida Kudz, Double S

          Spotify >> Dance on The Table – CLiQ ft. Caitlyn Scarlett, Kida Kudz, Double S

Thanks as always for reading my thoughts and perspectives! I am thankful to be able to share it with you.

-S

P.S. Are you on the gram? Add me up and become one of my Party People! @theOnlySaraStepa