THE ATTITUDE IS GRATITUDE By Sara Stepa

Hey Party People, Identity  defined as, “the fact of  being  who or what a person or thing is.” It’s a word to describe who we are – a mom, a boss, a sister, a friend, a dad, a doctor, a politician, a nurse, a grocery store clerk, a writer. But it’s also a word that describes  who we are …. inside – authentic, honest, hard-working, confident, kind, trustworthy, open, loving, positive. Our identity is formed by a variety of factors and develops in layers throughout the course of our lives. Sometimes it's clear who we are, and sometimes it’s a god damn mystery. Ammi right? I’ve been exploring for some time now my personal identity, and trying to figure out the tall tale question, “Who am I?” Going through different experiences, career moves, life goals, travels and changing friendship dynamics I have asked myself this question many times. Who am I? In my attempts to make sense of this I’ve categorized myself into different versions of myself. The situation or en...

Hey Party People, As a kid what did you want to be when you grew up? Do you remember what your biggest daydreams were? Thinking back to those days I find it fascinating that as kids we believed that anything was possible. We hadn’t yet failed and the possibilities seem endless. At what point did that change? When did we stop believing in magic? I was talking to a friend the other day about goals and dreams for ourselves. Sometimes it's hard to envision what’s possible, and we often limit our way of thinking. He said to me we can’t create the vision for ourselves, someone else has to create it for us. My initial gut reaction was, no that’s not true at all. We have to be the creators of our own world. We have to set our goals and intentions. I think we were both right. Up until a few years ago, I did not see my potential. I did not see my skills growing, I was living the status quo in my day-job in the non-profit world. I loved my job (and still do), but I was content in ...

Hey Party People, Do not pass go, do not collect $200. We can’t go back to regular programming. As we all process the uproar in the world for racial equality and begin to acknowledge the inequalities in our city and communities around us, we need to stay focused. And when I say we, I mean the white community. Many in the white community (myself included) are beginning to open their eyes to what is truly going on and the privileges we’ve had throughout our life at the expense of others. If you haven’t quite reached that conclusion yet, get learning and listening because it's true. I think if white people are being real, honest, and open with themselves these are hard truths to face. It should create some outrage, guilt, confusion, and sadness in your heart and in your mind. Please note that not for a second do I compare a white person’s turmoil and struggle in this process to the experience of the black population. They have lived this reality their whole life and have built wa...

Hey Party People, Man 2020 has been one for the books, hasn’t it? Who else remembers or felt ready to take on this next decade? Well, the universe had something else in store for us ( or maybe it’s even happening for us) . Not only are we confronted with a global pandemic but also with the harsh realities of racism in our world, watching a man take his last breath on film. If any of you are like me, you’re feeling the FEELS, or maybe you are feeling numb. For me it’s a time wherein one day I might feel a whole swack of emotions from guilt, to anger, to frustration, to worry, to gratitude, to happiness. It’s a whirlwind -anyone else?! If we don’t know why these emotions are popping up or why we’re even feeling them in the first place it can be incredibly overwhelming, especially if we don’t know ourselves very well. So, how can you get to know yourself and your emotions better? Write them down. Write down the stuff that is popping up for you and the emotions that comes along wi...

Hey Party People, It's not a party right now. It’s a time in the world where there is a struggle for power, a struggle for representation, and a struggled for equal rights. I’m confused, I’m hurting and I’m sick to my stomach watching accounts of racism flood my social media feeds. And yes, I immediately understand my position of white privilege with this statement, that where I see and experience racism is through my social media, space I can turn off, avoid, or turn away from. It is not my lived experience, unlike so many others. I’ve been watching and made aware of how very prevalent and real racism still is in our world, and it pisses me off and hurts my heart. In all the messaging I’ve heard in the past couple of days, this statement struck me the most, “Racism hasn’t gotten worst; it’s just being filmed.” W.T.F. I have lived in a world where I thought we were passed this, that we had grown as a society to respect one another. Sadly, I was wrong. What I’m learn...