Ask Yourself Why
Hey Party People,
Man 2020 has been one for the books, hasn’t it? Who else remembers or
felt ready to take on this next decade? Well, the universe had something else in
store for us (or maybe it’s even happening for us). Not only are we confronted with a global
pandemic but also with the harsh realities of racism in our world, watching a
man take his last breath on film.
If any of you are like me, you’re feeling the FEELS, or maybe you are
feeling numb. For me it’s a time wherein one day I might feel a whole swack of
emotions from guilt, to anger, to frustration, to worry, to gratitude, to
happiness. It’s a whirlwind -anyone else?! If we don’t know why these emotions
are popping up or why we’re even feeling them in the first place it can be
incredibly overwhelming, especially if we don’t know ourselves very well.
So, how can you get to know yourself and your emotions better?
Write them down. Write down the stuff that is popping up for you and
the emotions that comes along with it. You don’t have to sit and journal it out
at length, you can simply create a note in your phone and jot down the things
that pop up throughout your day. Did something trigger you? Was someone more
annoying than usual? Were you feeling bubbly and happy? Whatever it is you
feel, make a note. It might shed some light on the low points of your day or the times where you are most uplifted.
It will help you pay attention and better understand yourself.
Our emotions are signals and once you
begin to pay more attention to your emotions and the moments when they pop up, you
will begin to have a better understanding of what they mean. We are taught not
to feel all the emotions on the spectrum, but to instead reach for happiness.
Happiness or joy is the goal, always. But that’s just not realistic. Reach for
those moments but notice where else you spend your time, and how you feel, and
why.
As I went through last week and my weekend,
I was struggling to find a balance in my emotions and struggling to focus my
energy. I could have easily shifted my attention to the “good stuff.” Over the
past 12-18 months I’ve been training my mind to think and see the positives in
life around me and training myself to process or push away the negatives faster.
I can do that, but this past week(end) I didn’t want to brush away the emotions
I felt as I was experienced my “Unveiling”.
(If you don’t know what I’m speaking to, jump back to my previous post). I didn’t
want to ignore the emotional upheaval happening in my mind and body, so I began
to look deeper into why. Why was I feeling these emotions? Why was I reacting
in this way?
My intention is not to walk you
through my emotional discovery but to instead ask you how often you reflect on
your own feelings. When you get angry at a situation or circumstance do you ever
wonder why? When you feel over-joyed by an event, do you ever stop and ask why?
When you are feeling down for no “real” reason, do you EVER wonder why?
Humans are creatures of habit. We get
so accustomed to our lives we forget we are the creators of our own life. We
forget we can choose what we want to do, where we want to go, and who we want to
be. I’ve started asking myself the question, “why?” more times than I can count
and I’m beginning to apply it to every decision and experience in my life.
Why
do I work where I do?
Why
do I like to run?
Why
do I do a gratitude practice?
Why
did I want to eat everything in my house tonight?
Why
am I feeling disconnected today?
Why
do I feel such a strong response to the BLM movement?
Why
is my focus so scattered?
Why
do I write this blog?
Why.
Why. Why.
By asking ourselves the why behind our actions and feelings we can begin
to understand ourselves better. When we understand ourselves better, we give
ourselves a better opportunity to create the lives we want. We can be more
intentional with our time, our words, our money, our effort, and our attitude. Do
you not think you would be happier if you understood what made you tick, or what
made you excited? If you knew how to choose your friends, your job and your hobbies
based on what brought you the most happiness, would you not do it?
You might think you already do this, make
choices based on happiness, but I guarantee you, most often we don’t make choices
for ourselves. Why, because that would be “selfish”. Instead, we make choices
for other people. We make choices out of shame, guilt, or fear. Sometimes we might
just believe we don’t have another choice. Obviously, our choices have
different implications in different circumstances, and we can’t always choose
what would make us happiest. But if we began to understand ourselves better,
and believe that our
happiness matters too, we will be able to make decisions that can help move
us toward a happier and more intentional life.
Once you begin understanding your
emotions and asking yourself why you will begin to understand your values and
what’s important to you. By understanding the intentions behind your actions, you
will begin to understand yourself in a different way. I guarantee you will be both
surprised and comforted by the answers that arise. So, write down your emotions
throughout the day, ask why, and let these answers become the signals that guide
you.
Here’s your party jam for the week.
I wish you an intentional week ahead and hey
give me a follow while you’ll scrolling.
With so much gratitude,
-S
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