You Matter Too

Hey Party People,

The sun is BACK here in YYC and I cannot express how much joy those blue skies bring me. Dreary days have an impact on our moods, but when they begin to dissipate it transforms not only our external environment but our internal state as well. I left my apartment Saturday morning and the fresh smell of rain was so refreshing, it smelled like a flourishing forest even though I live in the concrete jungle of YYC. As the day went on I took notice of the clouds dissipating and enjoyed a beautiful evening outside with clear blue skies and crisp air. It might seem small, but taking notice of how the external environment impacts your mood can be very eye opening. Pay attention to how you feel this week with sunny skies in the forecast, or if you’re elsewhere that doesn’t have sunny days coming up, how does the forecast impact your mood. I know we can’t change the weather, but we can change how we view it and how you let it makes you feel.

On that note, how do you feel, right now while reading this. Stop and close your eyes and take a quick scan. What comes up?

I’ve realized when I take that extra moment to turn inward, I always feel pressure, or emotions, or SOMEthing on my heart. For others this may be butterflies in your stomach, or a racing mind, maybe you don’t even feel attached to your body at all, or maybe you feel completely empty. I would guess that most of us have some unacknowledged shit going on. We all do. But how many of us DEAL with our shit? Not enough I’m afraid. Instead we push it down and numb it, which is a dangerous route to take. Tread lightly.

I’m not here to guide you through your baggage but instead to remind you that taking care of yourself is important. We’ve all heard the phrase, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” So why do we always try? Why do we so rarely make ourselves a priority? I see so many people give EVERYTHING to others and always forget themselves. This shows up by working endless hours and losing sleep, this shows up by answering every other email before sending the ones you need to, this shows up by cooking for everyone else and not eating yourself, this shows up by working on everyone else’s to do list and never your own. It’s okay to be there for others, its ok to strive for deadlines and to feed your family haha OF COURSE those things matter, but don’t you matter as well?

I think so many of us have lost touch with ourselves in this crazy world, before and during COVID. But have you considered how COVID may be happening FOR you not TO you?

For example, let’s consider your morning commute. On average this was probably 20-30 minutes you spent to and from your workplace every Monday to Friday (longer for some or less for others like me). Now what do you do with that time? Sleep longer? Watch more TV? Scroll Instagram? Clean the house? What if you used that time for YOU? You were already used to having that time carved out of your day, why not shift it inward? There will ALWAYS be things that others need from us and they won’t stop needing you. But what they won’t ask for, is for you to take care of yourself. And what they don’t realize is that they need you to. So, it’s up to you, it’s up to us, to choose us.

I just learned this amazing lesson…

Every time you say no to someone else, you’re saying yes to yourself.

Isn’t that a beautiful thing? Being able to choose yourself? I promise you people, others will not choose you for you, that responsibility lies with you.

So how can you choose you when you feel like everyone else needs you more?

 MAKE A JOY LIST

List 10 things that make you smile and bring joy to your life. Ensure at least 5 of these things can be done under our restricted social circumstances right now. Enjoy or do one of these things at least once a day (Too much? Do it once a week to start).

My Joy list consists of my first blissful sip of coffee in the morning, rocking my favourite snapback hat, that first breathe of fresh air in the morning, running, kitty cuddles, long hot showers and so much more. Notice how these aren’t big things, but simple easy tid bits that add joy to my day.

SAY NO

Saying no to others is saying yes to yourself. Set boundaries for your time and energy because others won’t. When asked to do something by someone else take a beat before answering, or when you feel like your to do list is never ending, stop and review it. What REALLY needs to be done right now, and what can wait. Prioritize where you put your energy, and remember you need your energy too. Trying saying no at least once this week.

CREATE THE STATE YOU WANT

Our emotions are signals not realities. We are not happiness or fear. We are not anxiety or bursts of energy. We create our state of being and the state we are in. If you’re stuck in a bad place try and remember a time when you were happy, when you felt on top of the world. Live in that memory for a minute to remind yourself what it feels like to be happy.

Or you can try my tactic to pull me out of a funk - Throw on a party playlist, crank it up, and move! When we move our body, we create energy, and energy changes the state of our minds. Here’s My Current Jams Playlist if you need some inspo – warning it’s a wide variety of tunes haha. 

  

As you head into your week just remember that you matter too. It’s not you OR them, it can be you AND them. Try putting yourself first this week and see how you feel.

Here’s your party jam to remind you that you can have it all.

YouTube >>  Cam – Want It All

Spotify >>  Cam – Want It All

Have a great week! If you like my posts, please share with someone else who might as well 😊 and Say hi on social!  

Instagram: @TheOnlySaraStepa

Facebook: @SaraStepa

With so much gratitude,

-S