You Can't Do It All

Hey Party People,

Where my high performers at?

Where my peeps with high expectations?

Where are my people pleasers?

This post is for you!

Despite what COVID-19 felt like for some of us, the world never stopped turning. Whether you were overwhelmed by the changes or found a new routine, the world continued around us in big and small ways.

In my world I found my new normal, my new status quo working from home. Then I had to return to the office. This felt weird, and unknown, and uncertain all over again. Part of me thought, this should feel normal, but honestly, it didn’t, I had to re-learn my routine all over again – 6 weeks in, back to the office, and I'm STILL trying to find my groove.

My return to work came with, what felt like, a tidal wave of new “to-do’s”, and I had my moments where I just wanted to sit and cry because I felt so overwhelmed. But as a high performer, and high achiever myself, I do not give up, and I do not give anything less than my best effort (this absolutely ties into why I get overwhelmed in the first place).

Further what becomes challenging with individuals with high expectations like myself is that we feel like we have to do it all. Why do we feel that way? Because we have the skills to do so or feel the pressure that we have to. Some will have the skills to do the administrative tasks and the skills to do the heavy brainwork. Or some may be the breadwinner of the family so feel obligated to work endlessly, or maybe you’re an entrepreneur trying to balance your side hustle dream and your day job. We put pressure on ourselves to do it all leaving us with a never-ending to-do list.

Do we have to live like this? Especially in the case of high performers, or people pleasers who feel like they SHOULD be doing all of the things, they forget why they are doing it in the first place. We are always in a rush and thinking about what's next, or what we should be doing that we lose our ability to be intentional. What is the reason you say yes?

Why did you sign up for that course? Why did you join that club? Why did you get that dog? Why did you add any item that is on your to-do list?

Initially, the answers that will come to mind are…

“because I have to…”

 

“because I feel like I should…”

 

“because that’s what I need to do to be successful/a good mom/a good friend, etc.”

and if you’re lucky sometimes you will say,

“because I want to...”

But Whyyyyyy is that last reason used so far and few between. It’s because we get stuck in the should. I should do this because… I should do that because…

Alternatively though if we could shift our intention and our reasoning to embrace our wants instead of our should’s I bet our to-do list would look really different. I think we would have more clarity and motivation when we say yes to something.

I’ll give you an example.

About two and a half years ago I started working towards an online management  certificate. At the time I was very focused on building my skillset and growing into a better leader. This certificate aligned well with my goals at the time. Fast forward to today. I am now apart of the management team in my office and have stepped into a more significant leadership position – this is great right? Absolutely! But do I need to complete this certificate now that I’m in the role I was striving for? Do I need to take these courses to learn the skills I’m actually learning through real life experiences?

Well I’m 2 courses away from completion – do I complete it?

I know for most of you, myself included, our first reaction will be a resounding YES of course! Why would you waste the time and money you’ve already invested? Now here is where I’m going to play the devil’s advocate. That time and money were never wasted. Those courses taught me many skills and increased my knowledge and maybe even helped me thrive in my current role. But my time is incredibly valuable and I question if the time spent on these courses is misused.

My time, and your time is a finite resource and every minute we allocate to things that we should do, we are taking it away from all of the things that we really want to do. I have less time to dream bigger and work towards the goals that light me up.

So again I ask – Do I complete the certificate, just because I’m so close? Just to get the piece of paper that “legitimizes” my past efforts and might get me some added validation? OR do I go against the grain and everything I’ve been trained to think and let go of what no longer serves me so I can be open to what is trying to come in for me next?

Until we make room for the new, the old will remain.

So I’ll circle back. You nor I can do it all. I challenge you to question why you are doing everything you are doing. Make a list of everything you are involved in, working on, or apart of and see if the reasons why starts with, “I should,” or “I have to.” Those are the first things that can be evaluated on your list. Moving forward there’s a saying I’m sure many of you have heard before, that I’ve tried to embrace for many months...

“If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no!”

This helps us choose only the things we really want to do, which in turn helps us live into our most fruitful life, the real you and the happiest version of you.

So can we step back from all of the shoulds and start living into the hell yes’s this week? Hell YES!! Believe me y’all it’s a tough shift - I’m still struggling with it myself but let’s do this together!

Party jam for the week!

YouTube >>  Tom Cochrane and Red Rider – Big League

Spotify >>  Tom Cochrane and Red Rider – Big League

 

Love y’all! Subscribe party people and you’ll get this great inspo in your inbox every Monday!

With so much gratitude,

-S