The Masks We Wear
Hey Party People,
Identity defined as, “the fact of being who or what a person or thing is.”
It’s a word to describe who we are – a mom, a boss, a sister, a friend, a dad, a doctor, a politician, a nurse, a grocery store clerk, a writer. But it’s also a word that describes who we are…. inside – authentic, honest, hard-working, confident, kind, trustworthy, open, loving, positive. Our identity is formed by a variety of factors and develops in layers throughout the course of our lives. Sometimes it's clear who we are, and sometimes it’s a god damn mystery. Ammi right?
I’ve been exploring for some time now my personal identity, and trying to figure out the tall tale question, “Who am I?” Going through different experiences, career moves, life goals, travels and changing friendship dynamics I have asked myself this question many times. Who am I? In my attempts to make sense of this I’ve categorized myself into different versions of myself. The situation or environment will influence or call on a specific “version” of who I am and therefore influences how I show up. Does anyone else do that? Put on a different mask based on who you are with? I’m sure some of you know what I mean.
For me I have these varying identies Single Sara, Work Sara, Strong Sara, etc. depending on the situation. I honestly believe these versions are who I am, and I never like I wasn’t “being me” but I was just a different version of me. Why did I grow into these different versions though? Why did a different “Sara” show up based on a situation or circumstance? What I’ve realized is that I'm not always being true to ME. That sometimes the versions of myself that are showing up don’t align and sometimes I’m just wearing a mask.
I’m a bubbly, happy, and positive person. I’ve grown into a person that lets that light shine. Believe me though, it's not always shining bright, and sometimes Ièm just pretending it is. This is where Strong Sara comes in. I often hold my hardship, pain or sadness close until I can process it. On the outside I’m smiling but on the inside, I’m in turmoil. A smile is sometimes my mask.
Single Sara is an identity I hold onto with a death grip. I’ve been a single woman, more often than not, for the past decade. This identity is where I feel I’ve become the person I am today. I’ve grown so accustomed to a single, solo, independent life I questioned (for a LONG time), why would I change it? It’s a mask I’ve fabricated to hide my desire of finding a partner. It was easier to accept the status quo where I was safe and where I was comfortable.
Work Sara is where I constantly feel I have to prove myself. Prove my skillset, my knowledge, my opinion. Often feeling like I have to earn my spot at the table. I’m a young, short, blonde, white, female. Some of these characteristics work in my favour, others require me to work harder. I often hide my silliness and social side in my work environment so I’ll be taken seriously, or be seen as professional. In my attempt to be taken seriously I lose some of the pieces that make me ME. I’m hiding behind a professional mask.
You’re probably starting to understand what I’m saying – that different versions of ourselves come out in different scenarios. I’m not saying this is wrong, of course, we’re going to act differently in a board room vs when we’re with our best friend. What I think is important though is to recognize the masks we’re wearing and not only when we put them on, but why. Why we aren’t acting, thinking, speaking, in ways snd do they match who we really are? Do you think you’ve been wearing a mask?
As we go through different seasons of our lives – starting a new job, becoming a parent, starting a business, battling cancer, a global pandemic! – we learn and grow in different ways. New versions of ourselves pop up, old versions drift away, often without notice.
But are these different versions true to who you REALLY are? Do these versions of yourself show up authentically in your day-to-day? Are you being YOU? If the answer is no, or you don’t know, then you’re doing yourself and the world a disservice. There is only one you and the world needs YOU. No one else can be you and no one else can be me. So why do we try to be like others, or hide behind our masks. Lets flourish in all our messiness and the things that make us, us. Say it with me - Who am I? ME!
So I challenge you to ask the question, who am I? Walk through who you’ve been in the past, who you are right now, and who you want to grow into as life moves forward. Remember we can change who we are but let's make that change intentional. Let’s remove our masks together and show up as the best and most beautiful versions of ourselves.
Here’s your party jam. Never apologize for who you are, remove your mask and show up as you.
YouTube >> Lizzo – Good as Hell
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With so much gratitude,
-S
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