The Illusion of Control

Today we’re going to talk about having control over our lives, or more accurately, the illusion of control. I think many of us, myself included, have felt like corona has taken away our ability to plan or to choose, or have control over what we do. The truth is though, we’ve never really had control over what comes next. Nothing in life is ever guaranteed or certain.

Anyone who has been confronted with an unplanned pregnancy, whose lost their partner to an unexpected heart attack, who has lost a friend in a car crash, they will all tell you that life and the plans we put in it are not guaranteed. Corona has just brought this reality to the forefront and slapped us in the face. And now we don’t know what to do with it.

This concept may be hard to wrap our heads around because we all know things can change or things can happen, but we just don’t believe that it will happen to us. Now, this is happening to all of us and we feel at a loss of what to do. As we grapple with our loss of control we experience other negative emotions like anxiety, restlessness, sadness, boredom, etc. and we accept it. Its easier to feel negative emotions, because we’re used to it, so it actually feels hard to be happy and grateful.

I’m going to write a few statements below about some of the opinions and experiences people are having right now. Look at how the change in perspective shifts from a negative tone to a positive one. I’m not saying these changes are easy, and I’m not downplaying your hardship, all I’m trying to do is show that in prioritizing a better view we may just find a little light in our daily struggle.


My kids are driving me crazy >>> I have more time to spend with my kids.

I am bored >>> I have time to try something new.  

I hate being stuck at home >>> I am fortunate to be safe at home. 

Perspective can change everything. I’ll share a recent experience where this helped me. 

The week prior to Easter I was dealing with a runny nose, a nagging headache, and a phlegmy throat. The symptoms were very mild and didn’t impact my day-to-day. I was still working, still working out and was feeling pretty good over-all. Unfortunately, in the times we currently live in, a simple runny nose can mean corona. I could have let this possibility instill fear – what if I have it?! What if I can’t take care of myself I live alone? I don’t have enough food in my apartment. 

Instead, I didn’t let these thoughts wreak havoc in my mind because I had no control over what I had, or that it may or may not be corona. A common definition of FEAR is False. Evidence. Appearing. Real. A simple runny nose was not worth getting worked up about or creating a false conception that I was going to get sick.

BUT I still took the online Alberta Government’s self-assessment, and it told me to self-isolate for 10 days, or as long as symptoms persist. This meant I would miss Easter with my family. I told a number of people I wouldn’t be going home and they were all very supportive and/or sympathetic. They felt bad for me that I would be “stuck at home alone.” What I found so interesting though is that those thoughts never entered my mind. I was making the choice to ensure the health and safety of my family and staying home to ensure that, seemed like an easy choice and a no brainer. Despite missing family dinner, and Azlin’s (my niece) first Easter egg hunt, and all of the hugs (oh how I miss hugs you guys!), I still felt joyful to virtually join my family for Easter dinner. I chose to be thankful for what I could experience and not sadness for what I couldn’t. By simply changing the perspective of my experience I took back some control.

How we think, feel, and act will directly impact our daily experience. So if we can change the words we say in our head, and choose a perspective that brings us smiles rather than tears, why wouldn’t we? The sooner we can let go of this illusion of control we have on life and the view that corona has taken everything from us, the sooner we can embrace what corona has actually given us.

Think about it….

Now here’s your fight song, take back your life song.

YouTube >> Rachel Platten – Fight Song

Spotify >> Rachel Platten – Fight Song

Please connect with me on social, say hi and let’s connect 😊

Instagram: @mssarastepa

Facebook: @SaraStepa

With so much gratitude,

-S