Stop Doing Sh*t You Hate

Hey Party People,

You shouldn’t feel obligated to do what society tells you, in fact, you shouldn’t do it at all. Here’s why.

We have begun to curate a follower society, a space where being the same is nurtured, and being different is frowned upon. There are a number of social media nuances to this idea of a follower society but this isn’t something just caused by technology, its exacerbated by our own discomfort with difference.

Think about it, can you think about a time where you had a differing opinion but kept it to yourself because you didn’t want to offend anyone. Or a time where you didn’t wear a particular outfit, or cut your hair a certain way because you were told, or maybe just felt, it was a little “out there.” Or maybe there was a time when you were super excited about an idea or awesome thing you wanted to do, and others scoffed. This happens way to often and it has slowly chipped away at our confidence to be different. We are fearful that others might not like us, so we begin doing everything we can just to fit in.

A follower society squashes our differences and slowly chips away at what makes us unique. And we are ALL unique, we all have our special gifts and talents, tendencies and personality traits, but when we are berated with judgments, we feel like we have to change ourselves just to fit in. We become caged and limited in our abilities because we’re told to fit in the same box. But what if I don’t want to fit in the same box?  What if I want to live without defined boundaries? What if we all gave ourselves just a little more freedom to step outside the box, stopped being a follower and started being exactly who we were meant to be à YOU.

When I was a little girl I remembering being quite the free spirit. I wanted to run and play, always. I was even too busy to come home long enough to pee, so yes I would pee my pants and keep on playing. My mom used to say, “people aren’t going to want to play with you in pee pants, you should come home when you have to pee.” My response, “I’m too busy.” Clearly too busy living my best life, running wild and free.

When did I start to lose that confidence? (Yes, I realize peeing your pants as a child is something we ought to grow out of but stick with me here.) That little girl was focused on living with freedom, a desire to run free, and to play with curiosity. But I began to lose that when I started to take to heart what others thought of me and what others said. I began to get bullied (and no it wasn’t for wearing pee pants), and it changed me forever.

Now as an adult I still carry the weight of those opinions and how they affected me. Over time I’ve built up a resistance to others' opinions and began to live my life from a space of personal fulfillment rather than from what others thought of me. Now I resist the status quo. It’s not that I’ve become defiant or a rebel, but instead, I choose personal fulfillment over other’s expectations. This is challenging to do, especially if you are a people pleaser, have never quite figured out who you are, or if you thrive on validation from others. And society doesn’t help. Society squashes the behaviours that make us different. The unfortunate part is when we allow others or "society" to push down our personal opinions we become an unauthentic version of ourselves. We become unhappy. We are reduced to only a small version of who we are, caged and confined to the same box built by others. We aren’t living in our fullest capacity. But I’m here to tell you, the world needs you in FULL, not in partitions.

So begin to explore who you are, alive and in full colour because the world needs more people like that. Take the time to uncover the pieces of you that have been buried by others' opinions and a society that wants you to fit a specific mould. Begin asking more questions, of yourself and of others. Try being that little toddler version of yourself again, you know the one that asks, “why?” after just about everything. Get annoying, get disruptive, and stop doing shit you hate and start doing shit you love. Lean into the parts you’ve been hiding and unleash the wildness inside of you.

In the words of Glennon Doyle, you are a god damn cheetah. Give yourself permission to be free and live without boundaries.

Here’s your party jam to remind you that you can have it all.

YouTube >>  Cam – Want It All

Spotify >>  Cam – Want It All

 

Have a great week! If you like my posts, please share with someone else who might as well 😊 and Say hi on social!  

 

Instagram: @TheOnlySaraStepa

 

With so much gratitude,

 

-S