Selfish is NOT a Dirty Word

Hey Party People,

Have you ever been called selfish? Has it stung or hurt like an insult that hits you at your core? I have a long time ago and it hurt my heart that someone would use this dirty word to describe me or my intentions. Now I have a very different perspective of the word.

But first, let’s look at how selfish is defined. I looked up a couple definitions or meanings associated with the word and this is what came up.


    Devoted to or caring only for oneself

    Concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others 

    Manifesting concern or care only for oneself

    Lacking consideration for others

    Concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure

All of these definitions have two things in common. First, they are all centred around oneself. Second, they have a negative spin on them that only oneself is important. We associate this word as negative, that we are egotistical and uncaring if we are selfish, but why does caring for oneself mean you don’t care for others? Why is putting yourself first wrong? If you don’t believe you should come first, that your opinion matters, or that your feelings should be validated, why would anyone else? What we settle for in life is exactly what we deserve, so stop settling.

In my opinion, we all need to be a little more selfish. When we are selfish we are prioritizing ourselves and standing up for our own life. Now don’t get this twisted and think that only your opinions, feelings, and desires matter, but notice how often you put yourself second to someone else. Acknowledge how often you deny your own feelings in lieu of someone else’s. How often do you change your schedule for someone else? How many dreams have you given up so someone else could pursue theirs? We are so quick to devalue what we want, women especially. We are constantly barraged with messages of being caring, soft-spoken, and selfless like these are the only qualities to aspire to and that our job is to make everyone else happy and comfortable.

Pardon my French but f*ck that! Why is your life any less important than someone else’s?

 To me being selfish isn’t about only caring about oneself, its about equally caring about yourself. We give so much of ourselves to our partners, our kids, our jobs and we leave ourselves with crumbs at the end of the day. Why do we consistently put ourselves last? I say we should put ourselves first. As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup, well my friends it's your job to fill the dang thing cause no one else will.

This might feel difficult or foreign at first to begin viewing your needs as equal to others but it's necessary. Your life is equally as important as anyone else’s, read that again, YOUR life is EQUALLY as important as anyone else’s. Does that sound selfish to you? It doesn’t mean we stop caring for others or stop paying attention to our kids. It doesn’t mean dropping your partner's needs and replacing them with your own. It means putting yourself on the priority list because my friend, you are a priority and you are deserving.

Don’t ask others for permission to put your life, your needs, or your feelings first. Own who you are and what you want out of life. No one else is going to care as much about your life as you.

Selfish is NOT a dirty word, it’s a necessary one. So let's drop the negative outlook on being selfish and realize that we matter too. Let’s stop settling for making everyone else happy, and let's make ourselves happy. What can you start doing today, this week, this month that will put you on the priority list? I am going to make sure I prioritize my nutrition this week so my body and mind feel nurtured and I can be mentally and physically strong.

Why not kick start your selfish choices with this party jam and a mini dance party!

YouTube >> Settlin’ – Sugarland

Spotify >>  Settlin’ -Sugarland

If you need some more inspiration check out this podcast by Trent Shelton to really fire you up! (If the link doesn’t work, do a quick search wherever you get your podcasts 😊 its worth a listen!)

Is this your Selfish season? – Trent Shelton, on Straight Up

Enjoy your selfish days ahead and taking care of you! If you enjoy my words subscribe on the main page or share with others😊

And check me out on social!  

Instagram: @TheOnlySaraStepa

With gratitude,

-S