Sporadic Feels!

Hey Party People,

Life. Friendships. Work. Social Justice. Relationships. Health. Babies. Goals. Writing.

That’s just a quick list of things that have been occupying my brain over the past month or so and I’ve felt incredibly sporadic. I felt like I constantly jumped from thought to thought to thought without being able to finish another or accomplish a task. My brain was scattered and sporadic, so my life felt the same. And honestly it was beginning to just piss me right off.

I am a get things done type of girl and not being able to focus on something long enough to gain clarity or complete it began to cause frustration. I got to the point where because I felt I was being pulled in 10 different directions I just didn’t do anything. Anyone else get to this point? It could also feel like a sense of overwhelm where there is so much to do but you don’t know where to start, so we do nothing.

I noticed these feelings a few weeks ago where I was feeling unfocused, or distracted but I thought it would pass….It didn’t. It continued to grow and my brain continued to feel split and I continued doing “nothing”. I didn’t feel focused so I didn’t know what to do and thought maybe my brain just needed some time to chill. I don’t “sit still” for long so I have to be very intentional about giving myself space to slow down. The last few weeks I attempted to give myself that space, but it wasn’t helping. Those sporadic and unfocused feelings only grew and I reached a point where I said, "enough, what are you doing? What is going on?" I had to stop ignoring it and confront it.

It can take time to realize when something is off in ourselves, and it can take even longer then we don’t know ourselves very well. I’ve encouraged you to Ask Yourself Why, to gain a better understanding of who you are. It's in times when you feel off, or life gets chaotic that this knowledge of self becomes so important.

One indicator for me is my personal space. Over the past few weeks my apartment began to slip, get cluttered just like the thoughts in my brain. I was getting annoyed by the stack of mail, the empty boxes I leave out for Bodhi, the cat hair that accumulates on EVERYthing, my laundry not getting put away. All these little things that I was in complete control of fixing, but I didn’t. I was feeling unfocused inside and not knowing what to do “in life” so I stopped doing things in my own physical space. It was a direct reflection of what I was feeling inside, and an indicator that I was “off”.

So again, its important to pay attention to whats going on in your head, your heart and notice the external triggers that might help you pick up on these things faster. I know now when my apartment slips, I’m slipping. Our external environment is often a direct reflection of what we are feeling inside. Check out your spaces and ask what do they say about you. Consider your work space – is it disorganized and cluttered with papers everywhere? Or is it pristine, organized and clear? Now think about how you feel at work, or while working. Does it connect, does your space mirror how you show up in that space? Something to consider.

Now how did I get out of this spiral. First I had to notice it, acknowledge that I was feeling this way before I could confront it. This is so important you guys! If we don’t acknowledge or reveal what's swirling around inside of us, we cannot address it. We cannot fix it. And its WAY harder to move past it. After I was frustrated enough I reached out to my coach and said – “eeeeeek! Help!” If you don’t have a coach, that’s fine, reach out to a friend, mentor, co-worker, sibling, partner and start saying some of your feels, concerns, or questions out loud. If that feels too hard, try writing them down and just get the feels out of your head. It helps I PROMISE. Get things out of your head somehow. Heck you could even go for a walk and just talk to yourself. (I talk to myself ALL the time!).

After I worked through that and both, wrote down and spoke my feels, I felt better. Through that process I learned that I wasn’t unfocused, or scattered but instead that I was seeking clarity. By being pulled in a variety of directions I had the opportunity to choose what I did, or where I placed my focus, I just didn’t know what it was. But that’s life isn’t it? We can never be completely certain what our next step is or what we should be doing, but every step we take, and every choice we make is getting us one step closer to where we need to be. Each failed attempt, mis-step, conversation, helps bring clarity to your life. So when life gets messy dig in but have trust that it will work out. And if all of that stiiillll feels like too much, just go hang out with Mama Nature. Trust me when I say this, she has the power to heal you – consciously or not you will feel better. I spent my Saturday AM solo in the Rockies, hiking to take in the views of Barrier Lake. I felt like a million bucks after that and back to myself.

So how can you work through some sporadic feels? Take the time to acknowledge them, talk them out, and freaking confront what is bugging you. That is when you will truly begin to feel better.  

Here’s your party jam for the week!

YouTube >> Rain on Me – Lady Gaga Ft. Ariana Grande 

Spotify >>  Rain on Me – Lady Gaga Ft. Ariana Grande

Have beautiful day, week or weekend depending on when you had the time to have a read. If you enjoy my words subscribe on the main page or share with others😊

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With so much gratitude,

-S